Friday Drinks...Sol

The Sol in Mardi Gras guise...

This is by no means a drink I have often, if at all, but I happened to have a few sitting in the fridge as the result of party leftovers, and today I felt like having one. Previous experiences with it have been in Ponsonby bars, or drinking with "noters", and always with a slice of lemon or lime shoved down the neck...now I know why. As a real bloke, I don't normally carry spare citrus in my house so had a couple of these without the additive and while they taste OK, they hardly send the DT's running for the hills, or the taste buds racing. Watery would be the worst thing I could say and while I don't consider myself to have one of the finer palettes about, I figure that most who drink this just want to be noticed and considered classy...all I say to you is harden up and drink a real beer! And only women, stereotyped mincers, and middle-aged men on singles cruises have any sort of fruit in their alcoholic beverage. And at that price? Just like Lexus...cool name, big tag, but ultimately disappointing.

Nah, not for me, unless there was nothing else in the fridge.

Book Review...Beatrix Potter - Artist & Illustrator

By Anne Stevenson Hobbs

As I have been sick the last four or five days, I have had some time to read, and this one caught my eye in the library not because I am a fan of her writing, but because I had watched a Sunday Theatre film about the life of her (Miss Potter, starring Renee Zellweger and Ewan McGregor) and it was fascinating.

And to the book, well I read it in a day. Not that it had much written words as such as it is a book show piecing a lot of her work, but the footnotes to each picture make for some interesting stories and facts. The show stealer however is the art, and what an artist she was!

From her Tales of... series with Peter Rabbit, Jeremy Fisher, Jemima Puddleduck, and all their friends, there were also other prints, sketches and paintings of houses, landscapes, and people.

She was also commissioned to do detailed lithographs for museums, universities and libraries on selected flora and fauna as well as art for other famous writers of her time. Add to this her Greeting card art she dabbled in, plus the countryside she owned (she bought up just about every farm in her favourite region and bred champion sheep), she was undoubtedly a larger than life woman.

For anyone interested in art or Beatrix Potter (it does touch on the biographical here and there) this is a great little read...and the kids will love it too. It has gotten me interested in reading her books I must admit.

Book Review...Bill Wyman's Blues Odyssey

One of my favourite musical genres is The Blues...note I put that into capitals, as it is what this form of music deserves. Now I wouldn't say I was a Blues expert or anything, but was brought up on it by in some part by my dad, but more my older brother who was crazy about Blues and more so, Jazz.

He introduced me to some of my favourite songs and artists such as Lead Belly, Howlin' Wolf, Lightning Hopkins and Johnny Lee Hooker amongst others and over the years I have made conscious decisions to buy more and more for myself to listen to, and I have found in reading this book my tastes all fall into two of the many sub-genres of the music...Memphis and Delta Blues.

This book, although sometimes very hard to follow and disjointed, has some fascinating stories about the roots of Blues through slavery, the Depression, and segregation, but it is some of the biographies of the big names in Blues that becomes a must read...with names like Sleepy John Estes, Daddy Stovepipe, Big Bill Broonzy and Mississippi John Hurt amongst them, you can't but help but fall into their worlds and their psyche and get to understand what the music (and life) is all about. I doubt there is no more expressive form of music at telling a tale, jogging a memory, or making one think than this and anyone who says they love their music doesn't know squat if they don't understand the Blues first.

 

Buddy Guy...Clapton's got nothing!



Lead Belly - true pioneer

Going through this book which has some great photos and personal interviews between Wyman and the artists themselves has one always realising "ahh, so that's where I have heard that song" or "I didn't know he wrote it" etc etc. I found after reading this to make sure I get a lot of my older cassettes copied onto disc, or find the disc of other artists such as Buddy Guy, Canned Heat, T-Bone Walker and Stevie Ray Vaughan...and grab out my old guitar and start playing again.

A good read for nothing else for facts such as;

 



SRV - gone too soon RIP


• Robert Johnson wasn't actually the man who sold his soul to the Devil at The Crossroads so he could play...while this is the myth (come about by the strange fact he became so good on the guitar when he was so piss poor), this story stems first by a Blues man called Peetie Wheatstraw?
• And he, along with countless others such as T-Bone Walker and Charley Patton, used to play between their legs and behind their back ala Jimi Hendrix?
• That some of those who have the name "Blind", aren't in fact blind? Although, you would be surprised just how many were!
• Lead Belly recorded his biggest hits while in prison for the third time?
• The Rolling Stones (who Bill plays for in case you weren't aware) named themselves after a Howlin' Wolf song?
• Billie Holiday, "The Woman That Sang The Blues" is not in fact a Blues singer? She is Jazz, through and through...
• "Black Betty", made so famous by Ram Jam was a Lead Belly song?

And as you read, the picture of how and who was tied up together through more modern music history becomes apparent...nicely done, just could've been presented as an easier read instead of chopping back and forth.

Make sure you follow the links for some sounds!

The Ultimate Toy?

In a magazine today while having a coffee and muffin, I came across what could be the ultimate boy's toy...a 1/6 scale Challenger 2 tank...now 1/6th means that the original, 63 tonne, 8 1/2 metre long (not including barrel) is 6 times larger...god, that sounds like fun!!!

So this tank, at 90kg,  and over four foot long is fully remote controlled and has speakers to replicate the actual sounds, a smoke generator to puff diesel smoke on start up and under load, and can fire single pyro shots as well as 9mm with recoil...hell, this is nothing like the model kits I have made!

These are made to order (as it has multiple accessories such as additional armour, smoke control units, power sources) and can be painted in any scheme desired, although I would guess Shocking Pink and Lime Green are probably not allowed.

When I found out about these, they were available in the UK and start at 4100 Pounds...hmmmm, worth considering?

1/6 Challenger 2

As an aside, some years ago when at the height of my ship building prowess, I considered building a full RC 1/200 Yamato, and with a 6-channel control unit would look at working turrets as well as movement...this may have sparked this project again, so watch this space.

Comic History Lesson - Disney Cartoons

Today I put the TV onto Disney Channel (Sky TV) for my two young girls and the show that came on was Mickey Mouse Playhouse...like a train wreck, I sat and watch some with the girls and after a few minutes was close to throwing a 9 Iron through the screen...what a load of crap! In seeing other cartoons on the same and relative channels (Cartoon Network, Playhouse and Nickelodeon) the rubbish they are throwing up to my kids is nothing short of, well, I cannot put it into words. When did all this "learning", "morals", "niceties" come into it? Not to mention, P bloody C????

So, in this instalment of what is all and good and downright funny, I am taking a swipe at those in charge of the Disney I once knew (and I am certain this will ring with a few of you out there) and remind you why you are as big as you are...because you taught us life as it was, and made us laugh (as well as threw in a couple of hotties like Britney and Christina!). Remember when Disney used to be on a Sunday night for an hour, as well as the after school? That show launched great stars like Kurt Russell, and movies like 101 Dalmatians and One of our Dinosaurs is Missing.


Peanuts were never enjoyed as much
than by kids who wanted to be
Supergoof!!!


So, without further ado, here are some CLASSIC Disney cartoons that sum up what they should be...and while Mickey himself still sounds and acts as bent as Graham Norton (poor Minnie), at least he came across almost ambiguous...enjoy...

Goofy - Motor Mania - whoever saw this one will never forget it. Classic real life situation with comic results. this was made in 1950, when political correctness was as much a word as liquefaction

Goofy - How to Fish - from 1942. Another in the "How To" cartoons, and Goofy was well, goofy!

Donald Duck - A Good Time with a Dime - every one's favourite temper tantrum, Donald was the ultimate schizo...now why is it when he is clothed he has no pants, but when he comes out of the shower he feels he needs to put a towel around him??

Donald Duck - Snowball War - at his angry best, including his nephews. Please excuse the captions. Another WWII classic from 1942.


D. Duck in classic pose.



"M-I-C-K-E-Y, M-O-U-S-E...Why, because we love you"

Book Review...Sink The Belgrano - Mike Rossiter

Now I had made a concerted effort to move away from war ditty's for a while, but this jumped out at me in the library and I had to read it, especially as not too long ago I had read two submarine books which made reference to this story. I had high hopes for it, mainly as it wasn't written by an American so there was not likely to be any flowery references and Hollywood style descriptions. And I wasn't disappointed, however considering the title, there is little about the Belgrano and the Conqueror (the sub who sunk her) and their actual battle as it tends to provide a more historical lead in about the Falklands/Ilas Malvinas and the political and Defence strategy. But even so, these tit bits of information are invaluable to getting the whole story pieced together as well as creating more and more tension as the moment nears.
Unlike previous storys I had read, this covered off very well witness accounts from both the British and Argentinian forces, and those firing the torpedoes, and those left swimming in the drink, and unlike other tales, a lot came from the the ratings, not ranking or commanding officers which had a good truthful spin on it.
It is very well written, and so easy to read - I read it within four days, just couldn't put it down. And other than some 'stock standard' photos in it, there are a few that I had never seen and some curious ones thrown in as light humour.

It isn't quite a Pursuit, Operation Cerberus or Battle of Jutland in tension, dramatics, or historical longevity, but a gripping tale that once again had me thinking, "How the hell did we win?"

"Nice Wheels..."

I was having a coffee in Coffee Culture, Rangiora today and read a Top Gear magazine that was left on the table. It had a cool article about the new McLaren MP4-12C and a teaser of the new Lambo Aventador (yay!) but one story about one car was what got my attention as I slurped my trim flat white, and munched on my Spinach/Feta Muffin...the Fisker Karma.

This was first mooted about three years ago as a concept that they intended to build, well it appears they have done it, and what a car it looks to be;

• 2.0 turbocharged Ecotec motor
• Top speed 200km/hr
• 0-100 in 5.8s

OK, this may not have you rushing out the door to sell your Gallardo or Enzo,  but it's the little things that make this car cool (did I mention it was quite sexy?).
It has two electric motors producing 200bhp each, coupled with the 2l petrol which lets it use less fuel than a cold water fish. The claimed figures are about 2.5l/100km!! In fact, they say if it were used for only 50km per day, you would only need to fill it up annually!!



Bit much like a Toyota, but ain't one though,
thankfully!

 And as an aside, it has a "Stealth" mode...cool.

On top of the roof (which includes the up and coming convertible) it has solar panels which help charge the batteries as well, but more for the climate control system. And the company are offering solar panels for the garage so you can take the car off the grid.

Now I'm no greenie, far from it, I have two cars in my garage that have the carbon footprint of the entire QANTAS air fleet, but I do have a soft spot for mindless waste of natural resources and animal life, and if I won this week's Lotto here in NZ, this would be one of the top ten cars I think I would buy (hey, I'm still a bloke!).

Curious to see if anyone of NZ's 'clean, green' wankers actually buys one...shit, they'll be the next Parliamentary purchases no doubt!



Nice try mate...not quite an Italian...yet.



Axemen...Iron Maiden's Dave Murray & Adrian Smith

Dave (left) and Adrian - this is after Smith's return to Maiden

In a slight twist on my Axemen posts, it became apparent that they tend to follow just those famous as 'front and centre' players. But there are plenty of great guitarists who possibly don't get the recognition they deserve as themselves, but have made a following as half (or less) of a partnership, as in the two above, the finest in this class in my mind. As I explore this side of music, it will become somewhat clear that twin attacks will be based mostly around heavy rock and metal.



Dave Murray, trademark Strat



Adrian Smith on Les Paul



Iron Maiden are in their own right a heavyweight in a heavy genre. While a lot of this is down to the mercurial Bruce Dickinson, it cannot be denied that the dual guitar attack of Murray and Harris (who grew up as childhood mates) has made the songs of Maiden, Eddie and Co the hits and crowd pleasers they have become.

While these two have played together in Maiden they generally share lead solos, however it would be fair to say that Murray is the stronger technically and more influential of the two. His guitar playing seems so fluid and his Strat has a clean and mellow sound compared to the high treble and enhanced sound of Smith, who is no slug on the six string himself! Together they seem to have a perfect harmony where there is no distinguishing one from the other which is a great sound when listening to heavy guitar based rock.

You could count through the night the number of hits where the rhythm and lead licks of these two are memorable especially when they list amongst my favourite bands, but here are a few video links of songs that best show their respective skills and sounds..head banging!

• Number of the Beast - a classic and their first mainstream hit (Murray playing what looks like a 'Fat Strat')
• Wasted Years - one of my favourite tunes, album cut
• Rime of the Ancient Mariner - die-hard fans know this well, and a great example of different styles of playing - this is the second part of the song (it's over 14mins!) but shows the two styles, and the 'Fat Strat' again.

And while we're on software...

I got hit with what I thought at the time was a virus, or exception of some sort - it stopped me accessing any files, apps, even music, email and piccies...but what popped up was an MS product that cleaned it, but not removed it. In short, I had no choice at the time but pay the subscription for removal. Well fuck me if tonight while looking for another video downloader (for music and such for this blog, not porn!) the exact same thing happened again. After three hours of near on screaming, I managed to sneak round the product, MS Removal Tool I got a search via Google (my friend) to find out what I was dealing with, and how to fix it, and here goes, should you come across it;

MS Removal Tool removal instructions using HijackThis or Process Explorer (in Normal mode):
1. Download iexplore.exe (NOTE: iexplore.exe file is renamed HijackThis tool from TrendMicro).
Launch the iexplore.exe and click "Do a system scan only" button.
If you can't open iexplore.exe file then download explorer.scr and run it.

2. Search for such entry in the scan results:

Windows XP/2000:
O4 - HKCU\..\RunOnce: [fHrPqDaZcCg02547] C:\Documents and Settings\All Users\Application Data\fHrPqDaZcCg02547\fHrPqDaZcCg02547.exe

Windows Vista/7:
O4 - HKCU\..\RunOnce: [fHrPqDaZcCg02547] C:\ProgramData\fHrPqDaZcCg02547\fHrPqDaZcCg02547.exe

The process name will be different in your case [SET OF RANDOM CHARACTERS].exe, located in:
C:\Documents and Settings\All Users\Application Data\ in Windows XP and C:\ProgramData\ in Windows Vista/7. Select all similar entries and click once on the "Fix checked" button. Close HijackThis tool.

OR you may download Process Explorer and end MS Removal Tool process:

• [SET OF RANDOM CHARACTERS].exe, i.e. fHrPqDaZcCg02547.exe

Now, this appears to have done it for me...stay posted.

Tooble, again!

Bloody Tooble, one of the biggest pieces of shit running round. I downloaded and paid for full version about a year ago, and all went really well, well for about five or six months...for the last 6mths I have had nothing but grief with it...and absolutely no support! It has worked once since September last year, but a continuous stream of emails has been sent to them explaining the issues with no fix, and no response.

For anyone needing a video-to-iPhone downloader, don't use this.

Only a biker knows why a dog sticks his head out of a car window...

Harley-Davidson...I became intrigued with a bike I would never have considered previously, in fact took the piss out of those who did have them. But then Rob bought one, and I read the book I previously critiqued, and suddenly my desire to own one (well before I could afford one!) came bubbling to the surface. I was always going to get one, that was a given, but now the determination to get back in the saddle sooner than later. Rob, new owner of a 1450 even tried to talk me off the Harley but it was never far from my mind.
So there I was, a couple of weeks ago with time to spare between meetings, and happened to be close by a bike dealer, a Suzuki dealer no less. My last four bikes have been 'Zukis, and the one I wanted to own more than any other was the M109T (or M109R with more funds). And possibly the only bike to kill my want for a Hog. A demo model (R) was in the shop so I left details to call me on the price, but by the time the call came through, it was sold, but the salesman said he would keep me abreast of others, as well of second-hand SV1000Ss which cannot be bought new anymore due to Californian emission laws. Then he convinced me to pop in to consider a couple of others... C series or M90.
After looking at the two, no contest. The M90 is the one...but I didn't commit to a ride straight away, I am methodical (despite my impulse tendencies) in my approach so will work through a series of bikes, hence this post, the first of a few as I narrow them down.

Suzuki Boulevard M109T/R

mmmmm...nice arse!

This dream machine has received rave reviews around the world, and somewhat surprisingly most have come from Harley owners themselves who wanted a) more power and b) better engineering and handling. The first time I saw this in Coleman's Suzuki when looking for an insurance replacement, I was hooked. From the sheer size, to the styling, to the awesomeness of it all, I couldn't stop but picture myself on it. And then I rode one...now this goes by memory. The first thing you notice, in fact fear, is the size of this beast. A bike with an 1800 V-Twin, at two and a half metres long, 350kg kerb weight, and shod with a 240/40/18 rear tyre is nothing to be taken lightly.But to ride it is as simple as they come...with a couple of gripes;





...shame about the face!


•  I found the riding position difficult. I'm hardly tall, so reaching (read stretching) forward to hold the bars got a bit much, but custom bars ($$$) could be added
• The dash layout is a bit, well, crap really. And with the silver/chrome plate on the headlight, just not right...
• The gear change - I found changing through the gears, especially up, to be lumpy and required effort. However, in saying that, this was a demo barely run in (1000kms), so it could well be that. Besides, that much torque coming from the 55 degree twin could be partly to blame...small price to pay for a bike that had people turning heads everywhere I went

The ride itself was barely half an hour, and it took in most of the regular sites on Auckland's Nor'Western Motorway (NZ's largest carpark!) so I didn't get to give any beans, throw it through corners or in general, have any fun. Lane splitting is a test, but something that gets my adrenaline going, so I took the opps to do so as I rode up the motorway and through the suburbs back. Easy enough, provided you are well aware of your width!



Special Edition, but black is so much cooler.



All in all, nothing that would not stop me from owning one...except the price, which is why I didn't buy it first time round. At about $22K for a new one, and in the region (at print) of $18K for an 07/08, you really want to be certain this is how you wanna ride. Not recommended down The Devil's Staircase into Queenstown, that's for sure!

I will look to test ride this bike again this time round...

And so they start...

There are more to come, but it is always hard to gauge when it is the right time to send them out...then I figured, "Hell, we have a sense of humour down here, so buggar it!"

In the latest news from Christchurch......

It is understood mayor Bob Parker has just asked Maori for all the blankets and muskets back, because the land was faulty.

Don't think we're getting the beers back though...

In the Navy...Moonfish

When at sea on good days the CO of HMNZ warships would call 'Hands to Bathe' and the crew go for a dip, and a pipe (broadcast) generally went like this;

Hands to Bathe...starboard side. Shark Watch Crew close up. Do not use heads (toilets) and showers on the starboard side of the ship.

This pipe was fairly self-explanatory, sharks are always about and the last thing someone wants to dive into is someone else's excrement. To clarify the use of toilets at sea, once in the open ocean (normally out past 100+km from any coastline) waste would dump directly out into the sea rather than be held on board in treatment plants.

This particular story has us out in the South China Sea, posted on HMNZS Wellington (F69) and it was a stunning day - and soon after the pipe most of the crew who were not on watches were jumping off the side of the ship into beautiful blue water and carrying on only as young men are want to do.

I was just a young Midshipman, still in training, and me and about 10 other "Middies" were posted to Wellington (nicknamed  'The Goat Boat') for 6 weeks to experience life at sea while she was taking part in Operation Starfish, a five country defence exercise. One of my fellow Junior Officers Trent just happened to be scrambling back up the net for another dive in when you guessed it, a head on the same side was flushed, and the outlet was aimed directly at the centre of his chest and out it came and covered him! In surprise, astonishment and disgust Trent fell back into the water in a futile attempt to get away from it and clean it off himself. People were scrambling everywhere as the mist of poohs and wees drifted far and wide, very reminiscent of the scene from Caddyshack.

I was up on deck, didn't actually go for a swim that day as I was one of the sharpshooters on Shark Watch and watch with tears in my eyes as Trent slowly clambered back on deck, remnants of 'Moonfish' still caught in his chest hair!

Just when you thought is was safe to enter the water...

FYI, no one ever fronted up for using the wrong toilets.

Comic History Lesson - Kingpin

From those Farrelly boys who brought you "Something About Mary" and Dumb and Dumber", this lesser known comedy classic rates as one of my favourite all time movies. Woody Harrelson, Randy Quaid, (fantastic) Bill Murray and the hottie Vanessa Angel.

The plot goes something like this...Munson (Harrelson) is a washed up bowling champ who needs money quick...he finds a natural player in Ishmael (Quaid) who is Armish and after some negotiation gets him to play in championship where $1M is up for grabs. But standing in his way is McCracken (Murray) who was his nemesis in the early days. Without going too much into it, they both end up playing against each other in the grand final.

In the traditions of the Farrelly's (pretenders to the spoof crown) the movie is full with innuendo and crass mock ups, some stomach churning. The two links I have selected show off the Farrelly style best...

"You jarred something loose, Tiger"

Ishmael learns about the 'outside world'

"We don't have a cow..."

I recommend getting this movie out, but keep the kids away. You will come away laughing, grossed out, and always referring to the 'v' when it comes to sex! Watch out for the beer firdge scene, and Bill Murray's interview...priceless.

Axemen...Joe Satriani

Satch...one of the true legends of guitar, and yet one of the newest you will see on my list.

Like everyone, I was introduced to Satriani with Surfing With The Alien which should surely be classed as an all-time classic, yet probably won't be. Joe plays all of the instruments and co-produces it too. From the title track to Satch Boogie and the heavy anthemic-like Lords of Karma this album became one of the largest selling instrumentals of all time.

I have seen him live three times - twice playing with Mick Jagger (duelling with Jimmy Rip) and then on his own world tour. I almost got to see him a fourth time when he replaced my very hero (and one of  Satriani's) Ritchie Blackmore on Deep Purple's world tour back in '93 but the show was cancelled here in NZ.

Satriani himself came somewhat out of nowhere - he was a guitar tutor, but when he is credited with teaching the likes of Stevie Vai and Kirk Hammett amongst others, he obviously was destined for stardom. Alien was his first album, and since then he has released another dozen, and in some of them he does sing (although playing is definitely his forte) but none have quite reached the dizzying heights of that first.

He has played for Deep Purple as mentioned (and turned down the chance to be a permanent replacement to his hero), Alice Cooper, Spinal Tap, Blue Oyster Cult, Ian Gillan, and even credited with singing with Crowded House! He also sued (undisclosed settlement) Cold Play for plagiarism on Viva la Vida...sacrilege!

He also has catchups with a few 'mates' on a tour called simply G3 - it always features him and two other guitarists and they duel away on stage to his and other artists songs. Amongst his cohorts on stage; Yngwie Malmsteen, Kenny Wayne Shepherd, Robert Fripp, Stevie Vai and Michael Schenker.

I would highly recommend either listening to watching live footage of Satriani, he is a genius and musically beautiful and catching.