This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills!

  =============== 
Customer:   Hi,  this is Celine ... I can't get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing  the Button?
Customer:   Yes, sure, it's really stuck.
Tech  support:   That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note.
Customer:   No , wait a minute. I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... Sorry... =============== 
Tech  support:  ;   Click  on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer:    Your left or my left? =============== 
Tech  support:   Good  day. How may I help you?
Male  customer:   Hello.. I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on  'start'  for me and....
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.. 
 =============== 
Customer:   Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find  printer'  I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it. ==============
Customer: I have  problems printing in red..
Tech  support:   Do you have a color printer?
Customer:   Aaaah....................thank you. =============== 
Tech  support:   What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer:   A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11. =============== 
Customer: My keyboard  is not working anymore.
Tech  support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't  get behind the computer.
Tech  support:   Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer: !   OK
Tech support: Did the  keyboard come with you?
Customer:  Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard  is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah that one does work.. ============= 
Tech  support:   Your password is the small letter 'a' as in  apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital  letters ? 
=============== 
Customer: I can't get on the Internet.
Tech support:   Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure I saw my colleague do it.
Tech  support:   Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five dots. 
 =============== 
Tech  support:   What  anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry... Internet Explorer. =============== 
Customer:    I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. =============== 
Tech support:   How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first email.
Tech support:   OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the little circle around it? =============== 
A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.' =============== 
And last but not least... 
 Tech  support: 'Okay Bob, let's  press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program  Manager.'
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech  support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: 'P'.....on  your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT! Tech  support:   What kind of computer do you have? Customer:   A  white one...